If God were a Woman

1. Sex would smell like chocolate
   
2. Farts would smell like roses
   
3. Dogs would smell spring fresh
   
4. Babies would come from vending machines
   
5. Men would be born with a permanent erection
   
6. All women would have the same size breasts
   
7. There would be no cellulite
   
8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE
   
9. Men would be born with an "OFF" switch
   
10. There would be no "Tittie Bars".... Male Revue would continue
    
11. Every man's paycheck would be made payable to his wife
    
12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii
    
13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle
    
14. Men would come with software to be custom designed
    
15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife
    
16. Men would have built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth
    
17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between 7" and 3"
    
18. Sex would last longer than 30 seconds
    
19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek
    
20. Viagra becomes an over the counter drug.